Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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