I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
