the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
