If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize