I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
