i just wanna soil my oats bro
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
