Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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