Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
