he was CRYING into my vagina
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
