I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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