Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize