Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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