Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
