Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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