I want to have your abortion
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
