what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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