the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize