I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
