No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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