How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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