Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
