i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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