hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
