I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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