I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
