remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
