I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize