I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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