So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
