I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
