so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
You were trust falling into bushes
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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