Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize