My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
