She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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