it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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