OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
