you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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