You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
