Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
