You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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