she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
