After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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