yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
