I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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