who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
