So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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