feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
