We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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