btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You made out with two different species that night
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
the raccoons are back...
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