ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize