saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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