saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
