i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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