You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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