we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I need water and some morals
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
