i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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