But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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