Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
