My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Randomize
