come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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