Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
