He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
