So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
