Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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