pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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