God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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