I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
