Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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