you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
