She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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