i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
