DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
