Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
