chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
